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What Makes a Good Friend?

God tells us not only to choose good friends, but to be good friends. Here's how to do that.

Relationships
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Friends are one of the greatest treasures in life. They’re the people who make us better just by being around them. They laugh and cry with and for us. They rejoice in our mountaintop moments and shed light in our darkest valleys. 

The Bible gives us wisdom on what true friendship looks like. In fact, God‘s Word tells us to not only choose good friends but to also be good friends.

So what qualities make a good friend? Here’s what makes a good friend according to the Bible:

A Good Friend Is Loyal and Trustworthy

Trust is the foundation of true friendship. Trustworthiness means being loyal to your friend by keeping your word and standing by them in good times and bad. 

It also means avoiding gossip, betrayal, and selfish motives. Hearing a person gossip about someone else can make you wonder if they ever gossip about you. Betrayal can be as simple as repeating something your friend told you in confidence. Selfish motives mean you’re not really looking out for them but wanting something for yourself. 

According to Philippians 2:3-4, being a trustworthy friend means being humble, thinking of others as better than yourself, and looking out for your friend’s interests.

A Good Friend Loves Selflessly

Jesus tells us that love is the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-40). The kind of love he's talking about is selfless and sacrificial.

"This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15:12-13

“Laying down one’s life” sounds extreme, but the best friends are the ones who are willing to lay it all down for the people they care about.

A Good Friend Encourages and Builds Us Up

Being a good friend is like being a cheerleader. They have your back, stand in your corner and shout out their belief in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself. 

A good friend motivates and uplifts, inspiring us to become our best selves. Like Proverbs 27:17 says, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” When we’re down, they help us up and gently prod us forward. They don’t let us give up.They challenge us and help us grow emotionally and spiritually, wanting us to live our best lives.

A Good Friend Listens Well

Being a true friend also means being a good listener. That means listening carefully, not just to hear but to really understand what’s being said. As James, Jesus’s brother, said in his letter to  Jewish believers, “you must all be quick to listen” and “slow to speak” (James 1:19).

Listening well also means understanding when your friend simply needs to be heard, or if they’re actually seeking answers, feedback, or advice.

A Good Friend Is Honest, Even When It's Hard

Honesty is a big part of true friendship. Anyone can tell us what they think we want to hear. But our truest friends are willing to tell us what we need to hear, even when that information might sting a little…or a lot.

"Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." Proverbs 27:6

A good friend is also mindful of how they deliver hard truths. They strive to communicate with gentleness and always speak truth with love (Ephesians 4:15).

A Good Friend Gives Forgiveness and Grace

Sometimes, people do “peoplish” things—say the wrong thing, forget an important day, and other kinds of mistakes. But the strongest friendships are known for forgiveness when we inevitably fall short. 

Colossians 3:13 encourages us to “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.” And the reason for this is simple: “the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Grace is just undeserved favor and kindness, and Jesus was God’s grace poured out for us on the cross. He set the ultimate example for us to follow in the way we love others.

A Good Friend Is there For It All

"Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

The best of friends stick by us in the best of times and the worst of times. They don’t cut and run when things get tough—they create a safe space to simply be authentic in both good times and bad. Not only that,  they also genuinely celebrate your accomplishments, never downplaying them or making it about their own.

Most of all, a good friend prays through all of those ups and downs. Romans 12:12 tells us to be faithful in prayer, and the best friends apply that to the important people in their lives.

Good Friends Make Life Better

Being a good friend isn’t just about having fun. It’s about walking through life with another person, offering encouragement, support, honesty, forgiveness, and love. It’s showing up in the good times and bad. It’s like being sent by God to build up another person and help them become everything He made them to be.

What things can you do today to become a good friend? Think of the friends in your life, and choose one way to intentionally show up for them.

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It’s hard to make friends as an adult, isn’t it? Here are some tips to grow your circle and meet new people.

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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!


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