“This is a good thing. Why am I sad?”
Life is complex—and so are the emotions that come with it. Our feelings are sorted into neat categories—happy, sad, angry—but during transitions and losses, they rarely stay in their assigned seat.
There are moments in life that are clearly good—and still surprisingly painful:
- You move out of your childhood home. You’re excited about what’s next, but something about leaving feels heavy.
- You drop your child off at college. You’re excited to see what they learn and who they become, but coming home to a quiet house or their empty bedroom hurts.
- You retire from a job you gave decades of your life to. People celebrate you—and you’re maybe even a little excited to leave—but something aches.
These are good milestones—things we’re supposed to be happy about. So why does joy sometimes come mixed with sadness?
What You’re Feeling Is Grief
We tend to think grief only happens after a death or tragedy. But grief is triggered by one thing: loss. And if you’re facing a good change in life, it’s normal to still grieve what you’ll be leaving behind—especially if it mattered to you.
You Can Celebrate and Mourn at the Same Time
Dr. Seuss once wrote, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” It’s a nice thought, but it oversimplifies the reality of grief—and joy. It’s normal to feel pressure to choose one emotion or the other. It’s easier to only feel one thing. We should only feel happy when good things happen, and only feel sad when bad things happen.
But we have the capacity to feel both at the same time. Here’s why that’s a good thing.
Change Is Part of Life—and Grief Is Part of Change
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” God created life to be complex, full of seasons—stages of growth, change, and evolution. But in order for us to reach new stages, we need to say goodbye to the old ones.
- To move to a new city, you have to say goodbye to your hometown.
- To be married, you have to say goodbye to being single.
- To retire, you have to say goodbye to your career.
- To start a family and bring children into your home, you have to say goodbye to a full night’s sleep. (Kidding!)
God designed seasons, and he designed endings. Even when the ending is a good one, it still marks something meaningful that has passed. And it can be a good thing to have mixed feelings—as long as you let yourself feel them and process them in a healthy way.
How to Grieve Good Things Without Ruining What’s Next
No one likes to feel sad. And when we face a new stage in life, it’s tempting to try to ignore the lingering sadness or shove it aside. But your body and mind have a stubborn way of hanging onto these things. Ignored grief can resurface later as restlessness, frustration, or a vague sense that something feels “off.” It can even manifest as depression or anxiety.
That’s why it’s so important to properly acknowledge the whole change. Celebrate what’s good, but make sure you let yourself sit with the discomfort and sadness of closing the old chapter. Giving it a proper send-off will make the transition easier and help free you of any hidden weight you might carry with you. Here are some ways you can do that:
Name What You’re Thankful For and What You’ll Miss
Make two short lists:
- What you’re grateful for from the season that’s ending
- What you’ll genuinely miss about it
- What you’re looking forward to in the future
Gratitude and grief can coexist, and listing them side by side can give you space to mourn while still celebrating the anticipation of what’s to come.
Say a Real Goodbye
Before jumping into what’s next, pause long enough to acknowledge what’s ending.
- Journal a few sentences about what this season meant to you.
- Write a goodbye letter to your past self. (Be sure to tell them what they have to look forward to, too!)
- Look through pictures or scroll through your old social media posts and reflect on the memories you made.
A proper goodbye can give your heart time to catch up with the change.
Mark the Moment in a Tangible Way
Seasons aren’t something we can physically take with us and come back to—but you can create mementos or moments that give you space to remember.
- Take a photo you can look back on later.
- Find a keepsake you can display in your house or on your desk as a reminder.
- Make it an anniversary to pause for. Prepare a special meal, go out to celebrate, or create some other tradition!
These are some simple ways to take a little piece of the past with you.
Invite God Into the Transition
God’s always with you—in the losses, the milestones, and the fresh starts. He was with you when that season began, he walked with you through it, and he’s not going anywhere even though it’s ending.
Plus, he knows what’s in store for the next one.
And since he’s always there, you can talk to God. Tell him what you’re feeling, what you’re sad to leave behind, and what you’re hoping for in the days and years to come. Ask him for help processing your feelings, and for peace as you start something new. Psalm 145:18 reminds us that God is “close to all who call on him” —that includes you!
Good Things Are Still to Come
Every ending carries an invitation—not to forget what was, but to trust God with what will be. The same God who sustained you in the last season will meet you in the next one. Even if you don’t fully see fully see what’s coming yet, you can trust God’s character. Feeling sad or unsettled doesn’t mean something’s wrong or that you’re not properly enjoying things. It just means something meaningful ended. You can smile because it happened and cry because it’s over. The most important thing is remembering that God is walking with you through every season.
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LCBC stands for Lives Changed By Christ. We are one church in multiple locations across Pennsylvania. Find the location closest to you or join us for Church Online. We can’t wait to connect with you!